How'd we miss this one?

Iraqi President Jalal Talabani criticizes Iraq War Report.

Maybe the question the Gates Report should've been asking all along was: how come we've been supporting a guy that has TALABAN in his name? That's just a faux pas, right? Like supporting a German leader post-WWII named Jan Nazistrudel.
10.12.06 wardo

EUNOIA

Christian Bok must be recognized for the genius that he is.

His book, Eunoia, which is the shortest word in the English language to contain all the vowels (aside from that unreliable double agent 'Y') and means 'beautiful thinking', is comprised of 5 chapters, each dedicated to only 1 vowel. This means that each chapter may only USE 1 vowel. Other limitations the author imposed:

All paragraphs are 12 lines long
Each chapter must address each of the following situations: the act of writing, nautical travel, the act of eating, "a prurient debauch, a pastoral tableau"* and "the text must also exhaust the lexicon for each vowel, citing at least 98 percent of the available repertoire."*

The book, taking Mr. Bok seven years to complete, is 112 pages long.

*Source HARPER'S
22.7.06 wardo

$4.5 BILLION vs. Morality

Tell me it's about protecting decency now. Go on. Give it your best shot. With a straight face.

© EJ 2006
19.7.06 wardo

Stop Frontin'

Ah, these religious fucks are at it again. Virginia and Iowa Representatives, Bob Goodlatte and Jim Leach, respectively, are submitting an anti-internet gambling bill to the House that would "clarify the point for prosecutors" in re: a 1961 law that banned interstate phone gambling (call me crazy, but doesn't this sound like the Stone Ages?).

The bill has gained support in conservative, especially religious circles because it is ostensibly aimed at the protection of minors. However, internet gambling is a $12 billion a year industry, and as good ole boy Goodlatte put it himself:

"Gambling on the Internet has become an extremely lucrative business. These offshore, fly-by-night Internet gambling operators are unlicensed, untaxed and unregulated and are sucking billions of dollars out of the United States."

Sounds like a case of sour grapes to me. He's just jealous he didn't think of it first.

P.S. Weren't the heavier fines approved by Congress in the aftermath of the infamous Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction" meant to bolster the FCC's war against rampant indecency and its fight for morality, too? Have I heard this somewhere before? Is there an echo in here? If it weren't for unadulterated hypocrisy, I just wouldn't get up in the morning.
6.7.06 wardo

They Will Be Sorry

The next person who asks if my dogs bite or who squeals like a fucking idiot when they pass by me and my dogs on the sidewalk is going to get the biggest STINK EYE of their lives. Even if I wanted my dogs to viciously maul someone they wouldn't do it. If I was being attacked by a motorcycle gang with crowbars and chains, my dogs would just sit there with their tongues hanging out thinking it was all some big game. So fuck all you fuckers. Shut the fuck up and stay away from me because I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Do these look like attack dogs to you?




4.7.06 wardo

Get me a barrel of coffee! STAT!
24.6.06 wardo

Cunt in the Belfry

Prediction: Ann Coulter will go to the Hell of Sucking a Thousand Hep-C-infected Nail-spiked Bull Cocks.
7.6.06 wardo

"Fatwa in the morning/Fatwa in the evening/Fatwa at supper time..."

The following points of dogma were issued in August 2005
by Saudi Sheikh Abdallah Al-Nadjdi and appeared in the Saudi newspaper Al-Watan. According to Harper's, this fatwa inspired three professional soccer players to lay down their shin guards, one of which was later arrested in Iraq planning a suicide attack.

1. Do not play soccer with four lines surrounding the field,
   since this is the way of the non-believers.


2. One should not use the terminology established by the
   nonbelievers and the polytheists, such as: "foul", "penalty kick",
   "corner kick", "goal", and "out of bounds". Whoever pronounces
   these terms should be punished, reprimanded, kicked out of the game,
   and even be told in public: "You have come to resemble the nonbelievers
   and the polytheists, and this has been forbidden."


3. If a player falls during the game and breaks his hand or his foot,
   he shall not say "foul" and shall not stop playing because of his injury.
   The one who caused his injury shall not receive a yellow or red card but
   rather the case shall be judged according to Muslim law. The injured
   player shall exercise his rights according to the shari'ah, as stated in
   the Koran, and you must testify together with him that
   so-and-so tripped him intentionally.


4. Do not set the number of players according to the number of players
   used by the Jews, the Christians, and especially the vile America [sic].
   In other words, eleven players shall not play together. Make it a larger
   or smaller number.


5. Play in your normal clothing, or in pajamas, or something like that,
   but not in colorful pants and numbered jerseys. Pants and jerseys are
   not appropriate clothing for Muslims. They are the clothing of the
   nonbelievers, and therefore you must be careful not to wear them.


6. You must play the entire game with the intention of improving your
   physical fitness for the purpose of fighting jihad. One should not
   waste time in celebrating a false victory.


7. Do not play for forty-five minutes, as is the practice among the Jews
   and the Christians. This is also the length of time that is accepted in
   the soccer clubs of those who have strayed from the righteous path.


8. Do not play in two halves but rather in one part or in three parts,
   so as to be different from the sinful and rebellious, the nonbelievers
   and the polytheists.


9. If neither side has defeated the other and neither side has inserted the
   ball between the posts, do not waste further time in an extension or in
   "penalty kicks" until someone has won but rather leave the field immediately,
   since this kind of victory is precisely an imitation of the nonbelievers and
   adoption of the despotic international soccer rules.


10. Do not appoint someone who follows the players around and is called
    "a referee", since, after canceling the international rules, there is no
    need for his presence.


11. In the course of the game, it is forbidden for groups of youth to gather
    and watch, since if you are gathering for the sake of sports activity and
    physical fitness, as you claim, why should they be looking at you? You must
    make them participate in order to improve their physical fitness and prepare
    for jihad; or else say to them, "Go propogate Islam and seek out moral
    corruption in the marketplaces and in the press in order to correct it,
    and leave us to improve our physical fitness."


12. When you finish playing, be careful not to talk about the game and not
    to say "we play better than the opponent", or "so-and-so is a good player",
    etc. You should speak about your body, its strength and its muscles, and
    about the fact that you are playing as a means of training to run, attack,
    and retreat in preparation for waging jihad.


13. If one of you inserts the ball between the posts and then starts to
    run so that his companions will run after him and hug him, like the players
    in America and France do, you should spit in his face, punish him, and
    reprimand him, for what do joy, hugging, and kissing have to do with sports?

[Source: Harper's Dec. 2005]

Two points I'll make then I'll leave you to your own opinions.

1. Seems there's a lot of homophobia and closet homosexual tendencies going on. "You should speak about your body, its strength and its muscles". All the rest
about the "preparation for waging jihad" stuff sounds like a cover, doesn't it?
Of course Al-Nadjdi offers up point 13 as a sort of disclaimer, but it comes
off a little weak, dontcha think? I'm not buying it.

2. Most of these rules sound like they were made on a kindergarten playground, don't
they? "Don't be like the polytheists and the Jews," all that shit. Why not ban
the game altogether? I'll tell you why, and this is the scariest point because it sounds all too familiar: soccer is fun...and French Fries are fucking tasty! The United States
government went crazy, too, when France went against us for our decision to invade Iraq. What was our leadership to do in the face of such obstinancy? Rename French Fries to Freedom Fries. "We're not gonna be like those damn French bastards."

OK, heathens. I'm out.

© EJ 2006
4.6.06 wardo

Jihad This

In all fairness to these people, the only news people around the world hear about us, aside from the BIG issues like trade deficits, Bush's impossible approval ratings, Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan (What's a trade deficit?. I know...I know...*sigh*), are about Brad vs. Vince, the Brangelina baby and Paris Hilton's new hip-hop career (Eazy-E's rollin' in his fuckin' grave).

Also, in all fairness to these people, if the likes of Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and others mentioned in the previously linked article had total control of our government in the United States, things would be much as they are under the rule of oppressive Islamic regimes.

In all fairness to mostly sane, coherent, reasonable and logically inclined folks, fuck this guy's jihad on Burger King and fuck all the rest of these ignorant bastards listed below.


"In Baghdad two tennis players and
their coach were killed for wearing shorts."

"I stab because I care. This will hurt me more than it will hurt you."

Girls Gone Wild, Iran.

You know what these people are like? You know what it's like to have people like this in the world? It's like making hot, sweet love to your wife and then right at the moment of climax the Nazi Demons from An American Werewolf in London break in, shoot the place up, rape you AND your wife, your dogs and cats and fish, puke all over everything, take a huge group shit in the middle of the floor and the last one that leaves, right before he shuts the door, you know what he says? He says: "Maybe you should think about cleaning up a little more often."

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Why you gotta be hatin'?" I ain't hatin'. I'm just sayin' fuck those guys and fuck their jihad. And don't think it hasn't been fun. Because it hasn't.

© EJ 2006
30.5.06 wardo

Place your bets! Place your bets!

Iraqi Foreign Minister Hoshyar Zebari made waves May 26 when he announced the "Islamic Republic [Iran] has the right to have nuclear technology as long as it is for peaceful means." Will Zebari have to go? (*wink, wink*) Can the U.S. tolerate such insolence? Or, wait, is insolence being confused with that First Amendment again? Or, wait, do the Iraqi's have a First Amendment? Oh, yes, here it is: "Kill the infidel!" And just when we thought we were making progress.

For more info on the Haditha incident:
Iraqi City at Center of Alleged Massacre
US inquiry investigates Iraq massacre">
Marines in Iraq 'massacre' may face the death penalty
29.5.06 wardo

Ex-Ford Types Pushing Toward Real World Hydrogen Engine Applications

Hydrogen Engine Center
These guys are taking names, kicking ass.
29.5.06 wardo